Survivor. The Year in Review.
I was recently asked to consider sharing my testimony. I thought about it. What would I say? How would it come across?
I've been through the 'Just Walk Across The Room' study and I know it's good to have a one minute blurb ready but this would be more than a minute, this would be the whole evening.
My mind raced through my teenage years and all the bad decisions I made, how my husband and I met, and the people who loved on me through all of my 'stuff' and helped me get into the Word.
That is all great and is definately part of my testimony but I think I'll share about my last year.
It started just before last Christmas when I asked a friend to pray for our trip to visit Kevin's family. She graciously agreed and within a couple days she called me back saying instead of getting an answer for our holiday she got a Word for the whole next year. Wow! I was just hoping for Christmas! God really knew what I needed.
I listened as she explained that I would be covered in grace. Oil pouring over our family starting with Kevin, then on to me and then down the line of boys. I received it and wrote it down.
January 1st the blessings started. Every day there was a blessing and not always little things either. Like a friend taking me on a $1,500 shopping spree. At one point purchasing me a pair of shoes saying you have to have a good foundation for ministry! Another friend offering their home in Phoneix to us for free. And yet another friend ordering and blessing me with Tupperware. These are material but I also had many people pray ernestly to the Lord, literally just getting me through some of the tougher days that followed.
At first when the blessings came, I would wake up thinking it was a dream and that it would disappear if I woke up. When it kept happening day after day, I began to wonder what blessings the day would bring.
After the blessings, came a time of purging. Literally in all area's of my life. First the house. I sold the extra Scrapbook Inventory from the business we had purchased. Then I sorted and organized the house from top to bottom. I really was amazed at how much stuff I got rid of. I remember at one point Kevin saying whoa slow down not the couch I need something to sit on! I was on a roll. I had a great friend who kept me accountable till the whole house was finished.
During the time of purging my body began a purging of its own. I had a crazy breakout fest from about March till now. Like I said in all area's of my life!
Then summer came. Day one of Kevin's holidays, we start purging some relationship issues. I don't think that's exactly what Kevin was thinking when he booked the time off! We went head to head on many issues. It was loving and respectful but very hard. I prayed and reasoned before approaching each issue. I thought through each issue and had to decide if it was something I would let roll off my back, something to be talked through or something I was not budging on. I prayed, fasted and constantly asked God to check my heart. There were a lot of tears frustration and we both had to forgive throughout the whole time.
We did it though and are at a new stage in our relationship. It's good and healthy now. Is it easy? No way. But it's deep down good. I know I'm loved and am crazy in love with him.
In the last couple weeks Kevin suggested we write a Christmas Letter for this year. I wasn't quite ready to share what I had been through. He lovingly reminded me of all the great things that happened this year. It's true and it was a necessary reminder.
Purging needed to happen in order to become healthy. The next step is implimenting healthy maintenance. Going on dates, having good sleeps, exercise (working on it) and nutrition. Then I will have time and energy to design cards and work on my writing.
I feel like a survivor.
My race this year.
I've been through the 'Just Walk Across The Room' study and I know it's good to have a one minute blurb ready but this would be more than a minute, this would be the whole evening.
My mind raced through my teenage years and all the bad decisions I made, how my husband and I met, and the people who loved on me through all of my 'stuff' and helped me get into the Word.
That is all great and is definately part of my testimony but I think I'll share about my last year.
It started just before last Christmas when I asked a friend to pray for our trip to visit Kevin's family. She graciously agreed and within a couple days she called me back saying instead of getting an answer for our holiday she got a Word for the whole next year. Wow! I was just hoping for Christmas! God really knew what I needed.
I listened as she explained that I would be covered in grace. Oil pouring over our family starting with Kevin, then on to me and then down the line of boys. I received it and wrote it down.
January 1st the blessings started. Every day there was a blessing and not always little things either. Like a friend taking me on a $1,500 shopping spree. At one point purchasing me a pair of shoes saying you have to have a good foundation for ministry! Another friend offering their home in Phoneix to us for free. And yet another friend ordering and blessing me with Tupperware. These are material but I also had many people pray ernestly to the Lord, literally just getting me through some of the tougher days that followed.
At first when the blessings came, I would wake up thinking it was a dream and that it would disappear if I woke up. When it kept happening day after day, I began to wonder what blessings the day would bring.
After the blessings, came a time of purging. Literally in all area's of my life. First the house. I sold the extra Scrapbook Inventory from the business we had purchased. Then I sorted and organized the house from top to bottom. I really was amazed at how much stuff I got rid of. I remember at one point Kevin saying whoa slow down not the couch I need something to sit on! I was on a roll. I had a great friend who kept me accountable till the whole house was finished.
During the time of purging my body began a purging of its own. I had a crazy breakout fest from about March till now. Like I said in all area's of my life!
Then summer came. Day one of Kevin's holidays, we start purging some relationship issues. I don't think that's exactly what Kevin was thinking when he booked the time off! We went head to head on many issues. It was loving and respectful but very hard. I prayed and reasoned before approaching each issue. I thought through each issue and had to decide if it was something I would let roll off my back, something to be talked through or something I was not budging on. I prayed, fasted and constantly asked God to check my heart. There were a lot of tears frustration and we both had to forgive throughout the whole time.
We did it though and are at a new stage in our relationship. It's good and healthy now. Is it easy? No way. But it's deep down good. I know I'm loved and am crazy in love with him.
In the last couple weeks Kevin suggested we write a Christmas Letter for this year. I wasn't quite ready to share what I had been through. He lovingly reminded me of all the great things that happened this year. It's true and it was a necessary reminder.
Purging needed to happen in order to become healthy. The next step is implimenting healthy maintenance. Going on dates, having good sleeps, exercise (working on it) and nutrition. Then I will have time and energy to design cards and work on my writing.
I feel like a survivor.
My race this year.
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